


The geek, the gal, the alien and whatshisname.

by roo1965



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-02
Updated: 2014-03-02
Packaged: 2018-01-14 05:55:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1255402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roo1965/pseuds/roo1965
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack has an interesting trip after meeting the locals on a planet.<br/>Jack's struggling to work out what's happened to him as he comes to in the Infirmary.<br/>Jack POV</p>
            </blockquote>





	The geek, the gal, the alien and whatshisname.

**Author's Note:**

> Season 1 Broca Divide, Emancipation, and Solitudes  
> Written 8 Sept to 1st Oct 2003

So here's the thing- where am I and how did I get here?

Something about a blue ring but that doesn't make any sense. On the other hand being chased by horses does - sort of. Hard rocks too. Hard Rock Café? Nope don't think so.

The geek had a thing with ugly rock natives. Something about rescuing a girl somewhere. He's always falling for the ladies, rescuing gals in distress like some cowboy movie. John Wayne…what was that film with the really feisty girl he couldn't stand. Can't remember.

Horses again and a gun toting gal in a blue dress, don't think that was the film- that was something else though, short blonde hair too.

Hey who put me in the freezer? Get me the heck out. I'm dying here.

Oh déjà vu -haven't I done this one already? It was okay though because the geek and the gal saved me. Don't you forget about me…I just know there's a song in there somewhere.

Nope still cold -I'm gonna find somewhere warm and toasty. Whadya mean wake up? I AM awake fer cryin out loud.

Hey, the big guy has candles at his place maybe they'll do. Ha not bad for an alien….oooh Alien not THE alien surely? God what a great movie that was- especially with the thing coming out of the stomach like that. What was that British guy's name…heal? Hurt! That's it. Mustn't let the snakey thing get loose though, the little bugger. Hope we didn't bring any back….why did I say that? I don't know where here IS.

Give up. Gonna go to sleep now…I'm feeling a bit warmer now.

Sounds like geek boy is back, just how much can somebody write about pyramids anyway, all those weird unpronounceable names, but at least he's here… I can hear him talking. Ha, mummies. How come I feel wrapped up like one? Warm in here...

Did I mention it was hot? Fiery hot… _I fell into a burning ring of fire, I went down, down, down but the flames went higher and it burns, burns, burns-the ring of fire._

Now that I know, IS a song. Man in black and A boy named Sue. Ha ha ha. Me I'm a man in blue or green it depends. How do we decide what to wear? One day someone will ask I bet ya.

Scuse me, can someone turn the heating down? I'm frying here.

Tap, tap, tappity tap. What IS that? Tap dancing aliens. Top hat and tails. Now that would be fun to see… Science girl is back and that's her pooter. Is this a good thing? - Probably. Always thinking about something and saving the world. Me I'm just along for the ride. Horses again. Roundabouts. Carousels. Charlie loved those, especially the ones with planes on ‘em instead of the horses… I wish… I wish… Coulda woulda shoulda.

Still hot

I'm getting out of here. Let me go big guy - dammit! Even if you are an alien, as long junior stays at home. I mean- what do we know? Maybe he comes out at night and watches the TV while you're kel-no-thingumming. Wonder what he'd watch...Alias Smith and Jones? Starsky and Hutch? Fun stuff I hope- not war stuff. Apocalypse Now... I love the smell of napalm in the morning... been there done that...I've been a man in black…only the Shadow knows what evil lurks in the heart of men.

Hey don't you get it? I'm awake here- nobody's listening. What have you done to me? Like I don't remember and I don't remember.

You can't make me tell you.

Don't leave me alone here in the dark and nothing.

I'm not running away- just defending my position.

Everything's swirly- what was that show with the spirally tunnel? Time tunnel? and it was in black and white. This is a nice blue- air force blue. Do you dream in colour?

Oops I've fallen in...Hey is my life some cheesy TV show? Damn I missed it…Did somebody tape it for me while I was gone?

Hey anybody out there?

"Colonel O'Neill? Are you with us now?" asked Doctor Janet Fraiser as she wiped his sweaty face with a warm towel.

His fever had finally broken and he was beginning to rouse, his body calming down from his frenetic ramblings and thrashing, eager as ever to escape from the infirmary even when he wasn't conscious.

"Hmmm." was the response, she waited for him to gather himself together, testing his body to see what worked and what didn't.

"Colonel, can you open your eyes for me?" she prompted after a few minutes.

"Wha 'appened?" he asked squinting at her blearily, before he tried to swat her hand away as he realised what would be coming next.

"I'm sorry sir. I know you don't like this but I have to check. That was a hard knock you took," she apologised as she shone the penlight in his eyes. The results were encouraging in the millisecond she had before he squeezed his eyes shut again.

"Indians on the warpath," Jack murmured

Doctor Fraiser was only mildly worried now that he had woken up to an extent. Confusion was natural after a severe blow to the head- apparently the light was on in the attic but there was no way in hell that they were answering the front door. He'd be fine after some more rest. Probably.

"Pardon?"

"Ugly natives on horses, outta nowhere."

"You kept mentioning horses, and all sorts of other things." replied Janet, pleased that he seemed to remember roughly what had happened.

He opened his eyes again and scanned the room, a bit more alert now

"No horses here doc?"

"No sir."

"Had to move like bats out of hell."

"So I gather."

Suddenly he sat up as a thought occurred to him, how could he have forgotten…

"Others okay? Thought I heard them- doc? Doc!" he asked agitatedly.

"They're fine," she soothed as he paled and slumped back into the pillows.

"Feel like crap, my head hurts!" he put his left hand up to feel the left side of his head and face, wincing as he encountered a large lump and some stitches. He could imagine the bruising looked as colourful as it felt. Then as he looked down...

"What's with the bandages, huh?"

"You were chased by belligerent horse riding natives. They used slingshots. You took a nasty blow to the head and then fell through some thorny bushes which scratched you to pieces. The scratches left a little surprise for you once the team had got you back through the Gate."

"It was a hot planet, had t- shirts on, sorry. Sure the others are ok?"

"They were only slightly winded and bruised. You had a fight with bushes as well as the natives. They're just here if you'd like to see them." Doctor Fraiser had sensed them hovering for the last minute, waiting for the all clear.

"Sure. Hi guys. Oh- you were there, and you were there, and you were there!"he mumbled pointing at each of SG1 in turn as they came near the bed. He was tiring, fighting sleep, desperate to see his team in one piece.

"We were where sir?" asked Carter

"On planet weird."

"I was not aware the planet had been given that name," commented Teal'c

"You gave us a bit of a scare Jack." said Daniel

"Really?"

"The thorns from the bush contained hallucinogenic properties. We had a hard time controlling your temperature. We didn't know what kind of effect it might have on your concussion. It took a little while to get out of your system," explained Janet.

"Yes, Jack it was lucky we were so close to the Gate anyway. You managed to watch our backs even though you were pretty much out of it." added Daniel remembering the sight of Jack yelling at them to run for the Gate and keep it open for him, his face and head all bloody, scratches down his arms and face, weaving on his feet but facing down the natives, distracting them with P90 fire over their heads.

"That's it for now people, let the Colonel get some more rest. You can come back later I promise." commanded Doctor Fraiser.

"See you later Jack."

"Bye sir."

"Rest O'Neill,"

"Oh- Colonel, Sir?"

"That's my name don't wear it out. What, Carter?"

"I didn't know you were a Johnny Cash fan!" she said with a grin

"I have no idea what she's talking about- do you Doc?" and with that he strategically closed his eyes.

It was all still a bit jumbled, whispers in his head - but he had realised his team had been looking out for him here in the Infirmary. He'd thank them later when he had the energy.

The Doctor and SG1 smiled at each other. There would be time enough to explain to the Colonel that through his chills and fevers he had rambled odd words and phrases. And that at one point he'd tried to get out of the bed muttering something about candles, then TV. Doctor Frasier had been worried when he'd mumbled the word hurt but was smiling as he said it. Hours later he'd been more combatant and had tried to resist attempts to cool him down. The rest of SG1 had been there through it all, taking it in turns to look after and check on their CO.

"They gone now?" asked the Colonel tiredly opening one eye.

"Yes, you should be resting! Or would you like some water, something to eat?"

"Water please, not hungry just yet though"

Doctor Fraiser raised the bed a little and passed him a beaker of water. Patiently she waited while he settled himself down and closed his eyes again.

"Don't let the bed bugs bite sir," she said quietly.

~~~~~~~~~~~

'Hmmph' thought Jack 'We had to say that to Charlie every night before he'd go to sleep. Well it was mostly Sara, because I wasn't around.'

Around.

Roundabouts.

Carousels… the sound of Charlie laughing with glee

“Look daddy! I'm flying!”

Doctor Janet Fraiser watched the Colonel as a sleepy smile crossed his face when she said the bed bugs comment, and he huffed softly. Slowly he fell deeply asleep and with a contented look on his face. He was going to be alright she thought as she made her way to her office to update the General.

The end

Footnotes

1\. Don't you (forget about me) by Simple Minds.

2\. John Wayne & Maureen O'Hara in ‘The Quiet Man'.

3\. Ring of Fire; A boy named Sue by Johnny Cash.

4.  ‘The real reason for kel no reem'- There used to be a hilarious cartoon by Kitty but the website doesn't seem to exist anymore… From what i can remember  the snake was sitting watching TV late at night whilst Teal'c was sat crossed legged kel-no-reeming on the floor. let me know if you find it! [http://www.littlekcartoons.50g.com/cartoons/kelnoreem.jpg]

For SG1 and SGA cartoon fun in your life- Leah at http://cartoons.ashtonpress.net/startoons.htm


End file.
